Crowbar
A crowbar is a surprisingly effective weapon tool when used in the right way. For example, if you needed to open a wooden chest, you could do it with a crowbar two different ways: one, you could pry it open slowly and open the chest that way; or two, you could take the crowbar and f**king swing it and beat the shit out of the chest until it breaks open. It's really just personal opinion though. So yes, crowbars serve as very useful in certain situations such as opening a chest or whatever. So think about it, what would Jesus do? Etymology Well, first of all, obviously, it's a bar (duh), so it was named bar, but many people question why it was named crow''bar. Many people suspect that it looks like a crow or whatever the f**k they were trying to say, but really, the bar was invented in the era of Jim Crow, so he invented the ''crowbar in reality. History The first crowbar, as said, was invented in the 1900s when Jim Crow stepped foot in America. The first thing he did was burn all the beautiful meadows that there were in North Carolina and he replaced them with a marijuana plantation of over 1,000 weed fields. Next, he took a sub-machine gun (many say it was an Oozi) and he shot George Washington sixty-six and a half times in the head before taking oath as president and ruling the country for a total of seventeen and a half minutes before he was gunned down by a passing helicopter. Then, it was all over for Jim Crow, but he developed a bar made of crow that he later called the Crowbar that bounced the bullets back up into the sky and made the helicopter crash, in fact. Yes, that's how powerful the crowbar can be. After that, he went to Texas and threatened to beat everybody up and back then everybody talked like how your grandparents do so it really wasn't cool, so we'll skip that part, but after they asked how he could beat them up, he pulled out the crowbar and they just laughed, but then he took the prying end of the crowbar and aimed it right for this guys face, then he told the guy to look at him right in the face for a total of four seconds. Right when the guy was about to punch him, Jim took the crowbar and swung it as hard as he can and f**king beat the shit outta that guy, and the first one nailed him so hard that half of his head was gone. So that's what happened. We're pretty sure that your mother probably told you a different story but this is what happened and that's how the crowbar was invented. Signficance Actually, crowbars are more signficant than other tools especially because they are just plain awesome and you can do just about anything with it; for example, you could lift weights with it, you could kill someone with it, you could open something with it, or....you could kill someone with it. So there's a lot of things you could do with it. Be creative. Hey, and, in fact, you could kill someone with it. In popular culture Crowbars have been constantly mentioned in popular culture: *In Taylor Swift's song, Teardrops on My Guitar, she says in it, "I'd like to take a f**king crowbar and smack you right in the face with it!" *Will Smith used a crowbar as a replacement-boxing glove for his movie Muhammad Ali, which was accidentally renamed to just Ali *The word crowbar isn't in Webster's dictionary. It refuses to define crowbar for whatever reason. It's true. *In one of the Harry Potter books Dumbledore said that his once removed cousin's daughter's horse's friend's ex-girlfriend's spouse's bride's friend's guy-friend said they owned a crowbar See also *Saw (tool) Category:Weapon